Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Onion Polling

Poll: 100% Of Grandsons Talented

November 9, 2009 | Issue 45•46

ATLANTA—A Zogby poll of 1,542 American grandparents published Monday found that grandsons were described as "very" to "extremely" talented by 1,542 of the respondents. "Participants in the poll were emphatic in their descriptions of the talents of grandsons in fields as diverse as advertising and sales, choral performance, baseball, talking, crawling, making their beds, video games, and instructing their elders on proper cell-phone use," pollster Tom Waterton said. "In addition, an overwhelming percentage of grandchildren were described as outgoing, sharp, and looking just like Uncle Andy, you remember Uncle Andy, he was always up to something, too bad he passed so young, he would have loved the grandchild in question." Sources at Zogby admitted that the survey was incomplete, as several hundred pollsters are still unable to get their assigned grandparents off the phone.

hhmmm... What about the granddaughters?


  1. I didn't notice the title when I started reading & thought that it sounded like an onion article! It is too bad about Uncle Andy, he was always such a fun uncle.

  2. How else could we vote when we are so blessed with outstanding grandsons and granddaughters, let alone the great-grandchildren? No one in their right mind would go against tradition and feel inclined to tell the awful truth, even if it did exist. If they want to include us and increase the poll numbers to 1544 let them go ahead.